I know you share this feeling in some way....
When I was about 12, I stayed with a cousin to help man the store my uncle owned. Uncle and his wife were on vacation and their daughter in law was manning the store (or I guess womanning ;)) and I stayed with her to be an extra pair of eyes.
Around lunch time we were hungry, but I couldn't drive and she couldn't leave me alone in the store. My aunt and uncle lived above the store. We rummaged through the cabinets and found this box of blueberry muffins. We baked them and I must have eaten 12 that day I was so hungry.
Later in the day I became seriously ill. As you might guess I was sick on the overdose of blueberry muffins. To this day, I do not want to think about eating anything blueberry. That memory is still stuck in my head. So I always avoid blueberries.
I remembered this when talking to a friend. Friend commented that they never use a straw because of an experience once. They were helping with a project and while their drink was unattended a spider crawled down inside the straw. Next sip the spider was in their mouth and bit them. Their solution no more straws!
I am sure by looking you can see the simple truth in both situations. My error was in gluttony. I ate too many blueberry muffins at one time. I am sure blueberry muffins or anything blueberry might be tasty. I am allowing one bad experience to taint my feelings toward blueberries.
My friend left something unattended and suffered consequences as a result. Are straws bad? I personally do not like to drink without a straw. It is very healthy on the teeth.
My point is this, how often do we avoid the good things in life with people and relationships for the same reason? We have one bad experience and we are done for life. We are allowing the defeat in our mind over one bad experience. satan is having a field day with all of our bad experiences. He is hindering and robbing us of the joys and blessings.
My game plan is to take captive every thought and allow God to renew my mind. I do not want to miss any blessing and give satan another victory. Get thee behind me dude! I am done and over you!! I am fearfully and wonderfully made and have so much left on my list to experience....
Awed by HIS mercy and grace,
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